Feeling: Angry
Mood: Depressed Desperation
Reason: Failure to accomplish mental goals for the holiday
This is such a recurring problem for me. Having great dreams of accomplishments but completing almost none of them. Even now, that is how I feel about this blog. It produces more guilt than anything else.
I was going to spend about 20 or 30 minutes writing an entry. With only 8 mins left, I have almost nothing done. Maybe I will do it in parts, and at least get something written. Something is better than nothing, right?
I was really looking forward to this holiday. With the cancelling of my Monday classes I literally had no scheduled work for 10 straight days. Some people could save the entire planet in that length of time. Me? I apparently can't accomplish a darn thing!
Partly it is my fault, but partly because I'm a sucker for putting other people first. While that might seem good, my needs and goals end up in last place, so those of others usually are the only ones I accomplish since what others needed or want get done first, and after all the time I waste on my addition, there is no time left to work on my real goals. It has been this way for years. I know I need to change, but that just doesn't seem to be happening fast.
I keep praying....
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